Managing Narcissists, Blamers, Dramatics and More…

Welcome to my Managing Narcissists, Blamers, Dramatics and More… summary!

I’m currently reading Managing Narcissists, Blamers, Dramatics and More… by Mark Murphy.

I have put this book on hold as it requires reading only in certain situations and I no longer am in a situation that would warrant its reading.

Below you will find my summary and review of the book Managing Narcissists, Blamers, Dramatics and More….

Please come back in a few days. As I read the book, you will find my in-progress Managing Narcissists, Blamers, Dramatics and More… summary and book review notes.

The book helps you manage difficult personalities: Dramatics, Negative Personalities, Blamers, Problem Bringers, Overly Sensitive Personalities, Advantage-Takers, Confidently Incompetent, Narcissists, and Talented Terrors

Whether our personality is built on sunshine and rainbows, or gloom and darkness, we humans typically evaluate the world through the FIRE Model. We observe a Fact, we make an Interpretation about the fact, we then have an emotional Reaction which leads to a desired End. (Loc 121). For example, rustling in your yard could be the dog’s neighbor or a predator, whether human or animal, depending on your interpretation.

Mindset Shift #1: We need to think and speak factually (not emotionally)

Mindset Shift #2: We’re doing behavior management, not therapy

Mindset Shift #3: Our only goal is behavioral change (apologies don’t count)

Mindset Shift #4: Tackle issues as quickly as possible

Mindset Shift #5: You will probably need to tone down your empathy

Mindset Shift #6: We need to stop characterizing difficult personalities as “high performers with difficult attitudes” (treat them as low performers)

Mindset Shift #7: Say “thank you” to your high and middle performers

Confidently Incompetent (CI) typically don’t know they’re poor employees so instead of criticizing their work, we want to get them to do that.

Step 1: Pick the area where the CI employee needs to improve and then ask them to describe what excellence looks like for that behavior, attitude, etc.

Step 2: Ask “if you discovered that your performance on one of those attributes was lacking, what are some steps you might take to correct that?”

Step 3: Ask the CI person to evaluate their own performance and whether it’s meeting the definition of excellence. “When yo consider your recent work on this issue, especially in light of how we just defined excellence, how would you rate your skills?”

Thanks for visiting and thanks to Mark Murphy for writing Managing Narcissists, Blamers, Dramatics and More…!

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