To perform at maximum capacity, use a technique taught to the SEALs (I find #1 to be the most valuable, by far, and by doing it also #2 is achieved): 1) Be only in the exact moment; do not think about the next thing, 2) Break a task into smaller steps and celebrate your success, 3) At point of discouragement, take a deep break; 6 inhale, hold for 2, 6 exhale, 4) create your own cheering section in your own head
The 21-Day Guide is an awesome and thorough exercise for setting goals and thinking hard about your current and future life.
Language is an abbreviated form of communicating what is going on in our heads. Recognize that you are hearing the words correctly, but interpreting the missing gaps of information based on your experiences.
You are first person. To fully understand other’s perspectives, take a moment to experience the issue from second person (the other person in the story) and third person (from an outside observer). Toxic people lack second person perspective (think about someone you know who constantly makes negative comments? They do that because they don’t see how it looks from the second person/your perspective).
Disassociate from prior negative experiences by viewing them as if you are watching yourself in a movie. This makes those negative experiences has a smaller effect on you, thus allowing you to change your meta-programs (automatic responses to certain situations based on prior experiences).
When you have one of those moments when you feel like everything is going to shit, do this to flood your body with oxygen, change your body’s blood chemistry, and calm down the amygdala (the thing in your brain responsible for your panic attack): inhale deeply for a count of 6, hold for a count of 2, and exhale for a count of 6. Do it twice more. Doing it lowers your blood pressure and floods your brain with oxygen increasing your ability to think.
A better way of asking why: “I wonder why that’s so. What do you think?” or “How come?” or “Because…?”
Pro Tip: Look at people in the eyes. When you ask for something from your waiter to checking out at the grocery store. Looking at their eyes, and for just a half-second longer creates a connection and elevates you.
Favorite Quote: If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. (by Henry Ford)
Reference to free-throw shooting experiment found on page 92 or Loc 1717