Thank You For Arguing

Welcome to my review and summary of “Thank You For Arguing” by Jay Heinrichs.

One-Sentence-Summary: A how-to manual on how to successfully and subtly win your future arguments by being more persuasive and likable.

booboo real-time book rating: ★★★★☆ (percentage of books with this rating: 34%)

Keep the argument focused on the future. The past is where you start blaming.

There are three types of arguments: pathos (emotion), ethos (character), and logos (logic)

The next time you have to propose something make an occasion plan: the specific people who need to be convinced, the best time (of the year, week, and day) to convince them, and the perfect circumstances (resto, office, bar) for persuasion (ie Pre-Suasion).

When someone takes offense at what you said, try this neat little concession. “I’m sorry. How would you have put it?”

Instead of telling someone they’re bad, you can say they are acting out of character. Or, this is not like you.

Think of the opposite of an argument and put a ‘not’ there.

  • Opponent: Your department is failing to meet its goals.
  • Answer: Well, we aren’t breaking records yet.
  • Opponent: I can’t believe how sexist you are.
  • Answer: I may not be a feminist.

Pick a tool:

  • Put your argument in the other person’s mouth. So how would you put it?
  • Pretend you’re just revising a plan instead of making a choice. Okay, so let’s tweak it.
  • Admit you’re wrong in an attempt to reach a larger goal or to switch to the future. You win. Now how about
  • Anticipate your interlocutor’s objection and agree with part of it. You’re probably thinking my idea is impractical.
  • Use concession to banter. So I’m a pig. That’s why I love your sty.

The final speaker has a persuasive advantage.

“you’re being given a chance to prove yourself.”

A ‘chiasmus’ is reversing the argument; switching its components.

“When life gives you lemons; make vodka lemonade.”

Did you know I’m an author? I wrote four books on real estate investing, travel, and language learning.

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