Never Eat Alone

Welcome to my Never Eat Alone book summary!

“I make dozens of calls a day.” (p. 62) That line summarizes the book. No hacks, the book reminds you what you already know you’d need to do to have a very wide and strong network.

One-Sentence-Summary: Actively expand and leverage your existing network, or your “brand”, to accelerate accomplishing your goals while being generous in your interactions when others ask you for help.

“Coy games may work in a bar, but not when you’re looking to establish a deeper, more meaningful connection.” (p. 62)

I’ve finished reading Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.

booboo real-time book rating: ★★★☆☆ (percentage of books with this rating: 34%)

I wrote this about halfway through the book: The book’s premise is to give without thinking about what you get in return. While this is generally accepted advice, there’s something about it I’m not fully on board with. I am on the general mindset that all relationships are give and take and that you shouldn’t exactly keep track, but at the same time, there are people, and not an insignificant portion, who take and don’t give. You have too many interactions where you could give, give, give, and get nothing in return. I think you have to evlaute, on some level, the people you are interacting with not to find yourself getting taken advantage of. The author gives an example where it seemed like he asked a total stranger after one meeting to be introduced to a high-level executive, and the answer was no, which the author took as bad behavior. But was it? I am neither going to vouch for a random person to an important contact of mine and potentially waste their time and ruin the goodwill. I also wouldn’t want my friends to introduce me to anyone who asks them.

And then, in the final chapters, I finally got what I was looking for. This is a politically correct book withholding the most important aspects of the topic. What do I mean? Everyone would agree with everything in the book, but I felt there was something missing and I found it in the final chapters:

“The conscious pursuit of people with power and celebrity has a bad rap.” (p. 316)

“I, on the other hand, think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing the world [the one that powerful and influential people live in] more directly.” (p. 316)

“[My Dad’s] favorite quote of Runyon’s was ‘Always try to rub up against money, for if you rub up against money long enough, some of it may run off on you.'” (p. 344)

“[Deloitte leadership] taught me some hard lessons..that you had to put people first, all people, not just those above you.” (p. 349)

This last quote is the most telling. You have to read between the lines, which you can better do only when you’ve nearly read the book, but this says that Keith Ferrazzi was, in fact, referencing those above in social or power status. He was not, in fact, giving to anyone without thinking about what you’d get in return. He was giving to those he felt that he could get something from in the future. But how nice to be the winner/author and create your story the way you see it.

What is a Relationship Action Plan?

A Relationship Action Plan is intentional networking.

First, define your goals. What thing do you want to achieve? Maybe be a speaker at an event.

Second, identify key people. Who can help you reach your goal? Maybe the event organizer or past speakers. Think about your current connections, desires, connections, and influencers.

Third, understand their needs. How can you provide them value? This is the author’s give-first approach. Maybe you can promote their event.

Fourth, engage with them. Email, social media, phone, in person.

Fifth is about maintaining the relationship. Follow up without being transactional.

This blog contains both my summary and review of the book Never Eat Alone.

“When it comes to relationship maintenance, you have to be on your game 24/7, 365 days a year.” (p. 196)

Never Eat Alone is Dated

“..with two cell phones buzzing, fidgeting with my BlackBerry..” (p. 355)

Originally published in 2005, before the internet and cell phones, although updated in recent years, still seems dated. The author is talking to the office working trying to scale the corporate ladder, although many concepts can be applied to personal or entrepreneurial life. But it really just seems like politics with a personal spin.

“The key to college success is now the key to professional success of just about any kind.” (p.361)

You are reading my book review and summary by Keith Ferrazzi. Be sure to check out my digital bookshelf for 100+ book summaries.

Chapter 14: Be a Conference Commando was a letdown. It is the longest chapter so far and the best advice I got was to try and meet the speaker before they speak. Other advice was to be the speaker or to volunteer at the event.

Did you know I’m an author? I wrote four books on real estate investing, travel, and language learning.

The big concept is useful which is to leverage your network and focus on getting to know super-connectors. They will typically be restauranteurs, headhunters, lobbyists, fundraisers, public relations people, politicians (you can join the local Chamber of Commerce), journalists, authors/bloggers/gurus.

Powerful Quotes

“..either I ask or I’m not successful. That fear [of not being successful] always overrides my anxiety about rejection or being embarrassed.” (p. 52)

“The choice isn’t between success or failure; it’s between choosing risk and striving for greatness, or risking nothing and being certain of mediocrity.” (p. 52)

For when you want to exit a conversation during a party: “‘There are so many wonderful people here tonight; I’d feel remiss if I didn’t at least try to get to know a few more of them. Would you excuse me for a second?'” (p. 164)

“All my energies go into finding that one thing that’s going to make clear that we need to meet again.” (p. 223) – Whether talking to a girl you want to see again or someone you would like to befriend, you need to find a legit reason to stay in touch, and that will be a commonality, a reason to meet again equals a reason to exchange numbers.

A new way to connect with like-minded people I hadn’t thought of before: “Start out by finding four of five issues that are important to you and then support them locally [via a Nonprofit Board].” (p. 323)

New Words

Hokum – nonsense

Poobah – someone who is influential or has a high position

Erudite – having or showing great knowledge or learning

Imprimatur – a person’s acceptance or guarantee that something is of a good standard

Pensive – deep thought

Enervate – causing one to feel drained of energy

Miasma – unpleasant smell

Staid – sedate or unadventurous

Milquestoast – a person who is timid or submissive

Gadfly – an annoying person, especially one who provokes others into action.

Thanks for visiting and thanks to Keith Ferrazzi for writing Never Eat Alone!

Date Started: Thursday, February 6, 2025

Date Finished: Friday, February 21, 2025