How to Get the Women you Desire into Bed
Welcome to my How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed book summary!
I paid $239 for this paperback 90-page book on Amazon, and now I see it’s for sale at $378! If you want a digital copy, contact me.
One-Sentence-Summary: This 1988 book by famous pickup artist Ross Jeffries discusses his NLP-focused dating strateiges to seduce women.
I’ve finished read How to Get the Women you Desire into Bed by Ross Jeffries. Pages: 88
booboo real-time book rating: ★★★★☆ (percentage of books with this rating: 24%)
“GLANCE AT WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE TO LOSE, BUT FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO WIN.” (p. 15)
This blog contains both my summary and review of the book How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed.
“THE MEANING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT GETS.” (p. 18) Sorry for the caps, but it’s a direct quote. Your smile, tone of voice, posture, body language matter more than what you say.
Chapter 8 – mirror her by matching her breathing to build instant rapport. You can also match a gesture of hers, but do both subtly.
Chapter 9 – Jeffries has a good opener where he writes the following on a note and hands it to the girl with a pen.
“Hi, I’m taking a survey on bad pickup lines. Circle which you think is worst:
- Come here often, sugar pants?
- Hey baby, let’s go out in the cold and hug?
- Hi. I’m taking a survey on pickup lines.” (p. 26)
The compliment string is when you give a girl two compliments (I like your hat, I like your watch), then tell her “Come to think of it, I like everything.” (p. 31)
Jeffries’ advice for picking up a girl in front of people, of course, you have to start a conversation with her, then you say: Well, you’re a 10 in the looks department, you have good taste to laugh at all my jokes, and you’re sweet. And life is so unfair that it means you either have a boyfriend or husband or both.
An interesting concept when you have a brain fart or are in an unfamiliar situation is to imagine yourself wherever you are, and then also put yourself a few feet away looking at yourself. Jeffries says that this always helps him think of what next to say.
Finally, he ends with a technique you can use on a girl you really like, but who has already denied you. You order flowers to her work with a note saying her name and from her secret admirer. Wait a few days, have a t-shirt made saying “I am your secret admirer,” then go to see her and open the shirt. I (Danny, here) actually did something similar. I knew a girl liked succulents, and I had one sent to her office. I think I had my name on it, though. I ended up having sex with her and she was an in-demand girl.
You are reading my book review and summary by Ross Jeffries. Be sure to check out my digital bookshelf for 100+ book summaries.
Chapter 10 – Jeffries encourages men not to accept women being rude to their pickups and he provides some response lines:
- “One of these days you’re going to see a man across a room and you’re going to want to meet him but it’s not going to happen becuase he’s going to intuitively pick up on your incredible capacity for rude behavior.”
- “Thank you for showing me how warm and feminine you are.”
- “You’ve got a little piece of snot hanging out of your nose.”
- “I’m a lonely person trying to overcome my shyness and you’ve just slammed me back into my shell for months. I hope you’re happy.”
Chapter 11 – “ATTRACTING ATTENTION IS THE KEY TO MEETING WOMEN.” (p. 39) So true and the death knell for timid folks. The other day I went to a running club and decided not to talk to anyone forced. Well, two guys came up to me and chatted before the run. They were nice. At the end, I sat by myself and talked with zero people. The positive is that even though it feels forced, generally, it’s a good outcome when you force yourself to be social. I have a friend who is loud. He’s tall, he talks loud, he laughs loud, he dances even though he’s bad. He gets lost of attention.
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The Ultimate Rules and Attitudes for Success with Women
Attitude/Rule 1: I make no excuses for my desires as a man-I move through the world without apology.
Attitude/Rule 2: I don’t need you-You need me.
Attitude/Rule 3: You can’t control me.
Attitude/Rule 4: I never know where I stand with a woman until I make that first serious pass, so I don’t consider a woman a serious prospect until after we’ve made love.
Attitude/Rule 5: The first step in attracting a woman is getting her attention, and the best way to do that is by being unique, and novel, and different.
Attitude/Rule 6: I don’t argue with a woman and neither do I attempt to appease her. I listen carefully to what she has to say, but gently and firmly do as I had planned all along.
Attitude/Rule 7: There is no woman so beautiful that I can’t make her mine.
Attitude/Rule 8: A “5” in your bed beats a “10” in your head, but a “10” in your bed, beats a hundred “5’s” in your head!
Attitude/Rule 9: Never get seriously involved with a woman who has more problems than you do.
Attitude/Rule 10: Persistence without flexibility is a prescription for disaster. Vary your approach and style to discover what works best for you.
Representational Systems
People perceive the world visually (images), auditorily (sounds), kinesthetically (body feelings) and speaking to them using familiar terms will create rapport and warmth between the two of you.
To find out what a person’s preferred system is, ask them if they can remember their last really fun vacation and then have them describe what they really liked most about it. The person has to get specific so may have to pose the question a couple of times. Listen for cues and then tell the person about a recent experience of yours using similar terms.
There are other appendices that seem interesting, but more context and instruction are needed. Appendix Three briefly talks about how to induce a trance state in your date with a storytelling method. Appendix Four is a visualization technique that builds self-confidence. Appendix Five is about creating a physical/mental anchor for confidence.
Appendix Six discusses the woman’s mindset of “I’m not going to do anything unless I absolutely feel like it at the moment” (p. 84) and how to apply the Jefferies Uptight/Upright Scale to decide if she’s a good person and worth your time.
Thanks for visiting and thanks to Ross Jeffries for writing How to Get the Women you Desire into Bed!
Date Started: Thursday, August 14, 2025
Date Finished: Thursday, December 18, 2025 (126 days)
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