23 SOBER DATE IDEAS

While I appreciate the value alcohol can add to a date, especially a first date – especially if you’re an introverted male -, and while I can enjoy the feeling of being tipsy (when in good company), I think the taste of alcohol is off-putting.

Yesterday, I was exploring Santa Teresa, a hillside neighborhood in Rio de Janeiro, with a friend when she purchased a tall can of beer because it was hot outside.

No, thank you.

Water for me. I don’t understand it. The phenomenon of drinking something that not only doesn’t quench your thirst but has a pewtery aftertaste. At least it’s cold!?

There’s a time and place for alcohol (like the Samba and Feijoada party I’ll go to later today!), but there are more times and places to be taken advantage of in a sober state of mind.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t get drunk! In fact, it’s a great idea to get your partner drunk to see how they behave. Pro dating tip.

Anyways.

Let’s ditch the traditional dating with alcohol and find some different first date ideas. Shall we?

I have a list of 29 date ideas that don’t include alcohol (warning, one does). I’m ordering them roughly in terms of “interestingness”.

Go Stargazing

Search “observatory” in your local Google Maps to see what comes up. Often, college campuses have professional setups and free weekly events.

Or, you could buy your telescope to further impress him or her with your obscure knowledge. Women love to be taught interesting skills.

This sober date idea is first because I think nearly 100% of humans have an obsession with the universe. It’s so freaking weird!

Or, you could download a stargazing app on your phone for something easier.

Try Local Fruit From The Grocery Store

Especially when you are in a foreign country, this makes for a good date and getting to know the local culture. Who knows, maybe you’ll both like fart-smelling Durian fruit from Indonesia and form a lifelong connection because of it.

Even if you’re in your own city, go to a supermarket or find a farmers market and pick up some fruits you don’t recognize and share the experience.

Group Class (Dance, Yoga, Meditation, Stretching)

This goes double if you’re actually a good dancer or yogi because you’ll get to show off one of your skills without bragging. A bonus is that you can usually find a free class pass for first-timers.

Alternatively, if you have a special skill like handstands or calisthenics, then you can offer to be the teacher.

For example, I am a freediver and can hold my breath for more than 3 minutes and can teach anyone inexperienced to hold their breath longer than they ever thought possible.

Psychic Reading

There are a million different types of psychic readings. Here are the most popular:

• Astrology
• Palm Reading
• Tarot Cards
• Fortune Tellers

When you do this, you’ll quickly understand that 90% are frauds, so the rule here is just to find a cheap one, as it’s more about the experience than the psychic.

Bonus if you go early and tell the psychic to give you both a specific type of reading, maybe one favorable to you.

Instagram Hot Spot

Pretty much everyone loves a great Instagram photo. Why not kill two birds with one stone by exploring your own city and finding an ‘Instagrammable’ destination together?

Simply search ‘most instagrammable spots [city]’.

Make Salsa (Or Sangria or a smoothie)

Ok, one alcoholic idea on this list. Sue me. But you must admit, these are good date ideas..

Or, substitute the wine for something else like juice.

Go to the market or grocery store, buy the ingredients, and make them together.

Ingredients For Salsa:

• Tomatoes (get the orange or yellow ones!)
• Avocado
• Peppers
• Garlic
• Onion
• Cilantro and/or Parsley
• Corn
• jalapeño
• Salt + Pepper
• Lime Juice
• Chips
• BONUS: honey (just to pretend you know what you’re doing)

Ingredients For Sangria:

• A bottle of wine (or juice)
• 2 limes
• 2 lemons
• 2 oranges
• 1 mango
• 5cup sugar

• Step 1: pour wine/juice into a pitcher and let it “breathe” for 10 minutes.
• Step 2: Add sugar.
• Step 3: squeeze juice of one lemon, lime, and orange.
• Step 4: slice up the remaining fruit and add to the pitcher. Fifth, refridgerate for one hour and serve.

Go To A Dog Park

Pretty self-explanatory, right? If you feel too strange going to an actual dog park without a dog, then find any park where you’re sure to find doggies.

Beware of anyone who says no to this idea without a very solid reason why not! Or just take your date there without discussing beforehand.

Go To An Arcade

Yes, an old-fashioned arcade with games. This works best if both people are competitive. If the guy is not coordinated, it’s embarrassing. If the girl acts too girly, that’s annoying. These can be found often in shopping centers.

I found this Soviet-era arcade room in Moscow, Russia, and turned it into an epic date idea with uniqueness (she’d never been there before), Instagrammableness, and competitiveness. Check.

Shooting Range

Only a special type of female will be down with this one: an adventurous one. Usually, you can find a gun range within an hour’s drive from your home. No experience is necessary. But watch it! It can get expensive. Upwards of $100 per person. The larger the gun and the bullet, the costlier the date.

As an alternative, maybe you could find an archery range.

Go Window Shopping

Step One: Find a popular or high-end shopping district.

Step Two: Order Uber.

Step Three: Enjoy.

Best part about this date is it’s free!

In Medellin, Colombia, I discovered Junin Street (or Calle Junín), the original upscale shopping street in the 1960s and 1970s, giving rise to the verb “juninear” – in Spanish, it means ‘to window shop’.

Improv or Comedy Show

I’m sitting in a café in Kiev writing this section and asked the girl sitting next to me to tell me which one jumped out at her most, and she chose this one.

I recommend not meeting at the venue, share some time together beforehand then share a laugh.

If it’s an improv show, there’s a chance you can even embarrass each other by acting in the show if audience participation is requested. If a comedy show, try to sit up in the first row to increase your odds of comedian engagement.

Recommended: Dating YouTube playlist

Errands

Have to buy new glasses? Going to the grocery store? Why not ask your partner if they want to come along for the experience? Simply spending time with each other is just as valuable as anything.

You don’t always have to be entertaining each other.

This can even be the first date. You’re a busy guy or gal. You want to meet the other person, extend the opportunity.

There’s a psychological aspect at play here, especially if this is the first date. Who does she usually run errands with? Her boyfriend or someone she’s already comfortable with. So you’ve forced yourself into this position quite nicely and ahead of schedule.

Language Exchange

This works best if you both are bi-lingual or at least trying to learn a second language. The great thing about a language exchange is that you’re always in demand as an English speaker. You can easily find these on Facebook in larger cities by typing ‘language exchange [city]’ or doing a Google search.

Go To The Gym

Oh, you’re also really busy? How strange. You and everyone else.

Most people go to the gym, at least occasionally. Why not make it a team sport? I’ve done countless dates at the gym. Don’t feel like you must stick by each other’s sides the whole time. Maybe warm up together and then do abs or stretch at the end together. If you know how to do handstands or any other unique skill, teach her!

Bonus: Once when I did this, I gave my date one of my earbuds so that we could be listening to the same music.

Dessert Shop

I have a sweet tooth so this is a favorite! Luckily, most women also have a sweet tooth.

Maybe go to a toffee or chocolate shop, and each pick out three flavors for the other person to try at a park nearby?

Tea House (or Coffee Shop)

This is a clear favorite due to its simplicity. You cannot go wrong here. As always, try to find a ‘secret’ or ‘hidden’ café. I found this reptile café in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam.

In Moscow, Russia, I found Ziferblat (Tsiferblat) coffee shop by chance. On Google Maps it was listed as a community center, so it didn’t come up in my search for coffee shops, but it was a hidden coffee shop where you needed a password to get in.

Once inside, you selected a clock to keep track of your time and you’d pay for the time you spend there (unlimited coffee and snacks) rather than the amount of coffee you drank. Additionally, the interior was super cool, with many rooms and comfortable seats.

Explore A Neighborhood

We all tend to get stuck in our routines. I lived in San Francisco for about 8 years and barely ever ventured out of the North Beach / Marina / Nob Hill zones. It has a million neighborhoods and micro-neighborhoods like Mission, SoMa, Chinatown, Presidio, Castro, Japan Town, Little Italy, Dogpatch, Hayes Valley just to name a few. I probably explored these “other” neighborhoods less than 15 times in eight years.

Simply walk down the main street and go into shops you deem worthy. People-watching is always an option..

People Watching

People-watching is fun. The key is to find a good vista point. This can be from a perch in a park or a balcony at a bar.

I have a game you can play. It’s called Murder, Marry, Shag. Each partner picks three people for the other person. Then take turns telling your date which of the three you would murder, marry, and shag (sex) AND, more importantly, why.

Book Store or Pet Store or Toy Store

Play with puppies, browse best-sellers, or relive childhood? These are sure to rouse spontaneous conversation.

Botanical Gardens

We’ve all got one. We’ve never been to it. At least not with any frequency. These are usually gigantic, so you can walk and talk for days and discover new areas. Oftentimes there are some great Instagrammable hidden gems in the botanical gardens.

Beach

Bring a Bluetooth speaker, a soccer ball, and your flirting abilities. You can even help each other with your handstanding!

Other Non-Alcoholic Date Ideas

• Go to an F Market (Farmer’s, Flea, Flower, Food)
• Zoo
• Hike
• Billards

When you’re out in your city, keep your eyes open. Often times you’ll notice a new sign or shop that you haven’t seen before, like a wine and cheese school on a street you never go down. Take a different route home.

You can always search for fun activities. If you do this, be specific to find specific results. If you search ‘Things to do in Milan, Italy’ you’ll get the most perfectly search-engine-optimized article that’s probably used to drive sales and not share information.

Instead, search ‘free activities on Sundays in Milan, Italy.’ This search will more likely reveal specialized blog posts from people like me and you just trying to share their information without any other motivations.

Using this search technique, I found this city-like cemetery in Manila, Philippines where the dead live in mansions with A/C, hot tubs, running water, and all.

 

What’s your favorite non-alcoholic sober date idea?